From my inbox
Hi Amanda, Please I want you to share this my story on your wall, I need your advice and people's opinion too.
Formally, I don't use to do all this relationship stuffs until last year December, when we went to villa for Xmas.
I met a girl, she is really very beautiful, she is 20 years old, she based at Enugu, though still a Jambite.
I admired her and I approached her and told her my mind.
At first she was really very aggressive and strict but later on she started being cool with me and said we can only be friends, that she has a boyfriend.
As of then, her boyfriend was doing his service at the same school where she wrote her Waec, and that was how they met and became lovers.
So we were together throughout that December period, and I was really very in love with her, but didn't tell her about how I was feeling again, so she won't start acting strange, because I value our friendship, but I was caring and friendly towards her, to convince her to give me a try.
After the Xmas I went back to school, I noticed that I do think about her so often and always intend to call her, and is kinda distracting me. So I deleted her number, so that I won't call her again and she doesn't call me that much, so we stopped hearing from each other.
Around early weeks of March, I saw her friend request on Facebook, I added her and we started chatting, she asked me for my contact and I gave it to her and also requested for hers, but she called me immediately and she was like "wow! ****** I really missed you", and of course I missed her too.
She also told me that she was staying with one of her relation at Nnewi.
After some long conversation she told me that she was no longer dating the guy.
I asked her what happened, she told me that the guy complained that she was not proud of him, because her aunty was kinda monitoring her very closely, so she don't freely answer calls, so the guy got angry and was like "what's wrong with telling your aunty that you have a boyfriend", and he stopped calling her. romantic bohemian style wedding wears
But before then, there was one prayer house her aunty was attending, so she followed her, and one of the prophets there told her that the guy she is dating is not her husband.
Because the guy use to talk about all these marriage stuffs to her.
The guy have met with Her parents, siblings and friends, so they know the guy as her boyfriend or husband to be...
So I said Ok.
After some days we started dating, and it was going very fine...
She is beautiful, friendly, funny, romantic and she respect me a lot.
So I decided to give her my best shot, as in, I was on my best behaviour.
To be sincere, I love her so much and she was cooperating very fine.
We talked about how to meet and create some good memories, so we concluded that we will meet at villa.
After some few quiz at school I went to villa and she also came back, that should be around September.
There was nobody at my house, because my family also based at Enugu.
So we decided that she will be coming over to my place...
She came, we had fun and it was very romantic.
During her visiting, and after several attempts we had sex and it was first time for both of us. But it was my idea... So She cried and so on.
She asked me to promise her that I will value her and respect her, and that I will never disappoint her or discuss her with my friends...and I swore.
I told her that I love her so much, that sex is just for pleasure, that it doesn't justify if someone loves you or not.
So she agreed and trusted me, so it kept happening until I decided to go back to school, that's after a week and few days.
At school we use to talk on phone as usual, we started missing each other like never before, if I don't call she will always call or flash in the evening to know how am doing and why I haven't called her since morning... until last two weeks Thursday.
I logged into whatsapp and saw her ex picture on her profile, I was surprised, I thought of what to do, and I don't know, then I decided to act as if I didn't see the picture. To know what was going to happen, though it was hard.
I started noticing that she doesn't call or flash me even If I decides not to call her for two days, her attitude and attention came down, we don't use to have long conversation again, it's now "how fa? Fine! " And if I don't call, she will not even bother.
So I noticed that there was a problem, I don't know how best to tackle it because I really love the girl and I don't want to lose her
So I send her message on whatsapp asking what was the problem, that she changed.
At first she tried to pick offence and started saying things that relate to break up, she asked me if I really love her, I told her that I will not answer that question.
(Because I use to tell her that I love her so much, almost every minute, and I mean it right inside my heart)
So I decided to call her immediately to make sure she was actually the person I was chatting with.
She told me that it was her and that she is very sorry about her previous behaviours.
That is because her ex called her, that I know that both of them don't have a very good reason for breaking up, that he called her and was apologising.
I was like "Jesus Christ!"
(But back then when we were dating, she use to bring up her ex topic sometimes, and I noticed that she really love him and she still do, but i thought I can make her love me more, and after the sex and everything, I thought I have achieved her love)
So I told her that this is not what we will talk on phone that we needed to meet, we arranged on how to meet and I visited her at her friends house.
We talked about it and she admitted to my face that she love the guy and still loves him, that he was her first love, blah! blah! blah!, though she was crying.. She knelt down and begged me to stay, that she loves me too, and that she knows that I love her so very much.
am nice and caring, that I have never for one day shouted at her, that I respect and value her so much.
Gosh! We cried eh.
She said that why she asked if I really love her was because the guy asked her if she was still a virgin, and she said no, so the guy started blaming her, he told her upon everything he told her not to allow any man deceive her.... So she was like "am deceiving her".
(To be sincere with you and not deceiving her, I really love the girl)
So I now told her that I saw the guy's picture on her profile, and she told me that the guy put hers and ask her to put his too.
I was like "Jeeez! And you did? You don't even care if I will see the picture"
She said that she is sorry, but lets just leave the guys picture there that she will remove it when the guy remove her own and put my own.
(can you believe that I was listening to that?
The thing I that the girl is also very truthful and I told her to be telling me the truth no matter what, then she now said the worse.)
I asked her if she told the person that she is dating, she said yes, and the guy asked her to leave me slowly after telling him that she can't just break up with me.
Then I asked "so that's what you was doing, right? trying to leave me slowly"
She started crying again, telling me that she just want the guy to know that she still loves him wherever his is.
(And the thing is that the guy is not in Nigeria now, he travelled outside to do his masters.)
So she begged me to keep on dating her, since the guy is not in town, that she doesn't want to lose me.
Because I so much love the girl and can't just open my mouth and say is over, with the way she was begging me to stay.
I said OK, that we are fine.
She brought food, we ate and talked about other things.
She started coming very close to me trying to know if I was still angry, so I pretended as if am not angry, we started kissing, touching and we had sex right very there.
She was like "baby, we had sex again? "
She started asking me if am still angry, she told me to just forget about the guy and be cool with her.
So please, what should I do?